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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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But then, I remember my training. I’m all like, “Focus, mate. You got this.” I step up, and the crowd’s goin’ wild. I’m dodgin’ and weavin’, and it’s like a dance, ya know? But then, BAM! I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? The crowd gasps, and I’m like, “Oh no, not like this!” But I roll back up, and the bull’s just lookin’ at me like, “Really, dude?”

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